Your writing is intelligent. Dont be hard on yourself if you can help it, that can complicate things. A lot happening to be disappointed about. Try and take it easy right now. Later you can seperate out the things you can do something about from those that are inevitable. Graduation is a big deal and Im sorry it isnt going the way you'd like it to. I hope you can find a way to re-assemble whats been scattered into a memory you'll enjoy. Sometimes when things dont go the way we plan, it can still turn out ok.