You are conflating objectionable behavior, e.g. lack of appreciation of your father's generous support, with behavior that is not objectionable, such as having younger friends.

Do not be judgmental. If you dislike her bf, keep your dislike to yourself and meet with. The. Mother somewhere where not on her turf. Your place, a public place, etc.

You probably want to select your own friends and boyfriends on your own without her interefering... right? Reverse and apply...