Been on new Meds for over a week. No change. If anything I'm feeling more down than usual. Had awful headaches for a couple of days but head is ok now.

My mind is racing again. It doesn't take much to trigger but I had a bad experience at the end of last week that I can't shake.

My dad is a unique man. Too hard to describe but he's always been there for me and no matter what whacky stuff he says and does, we all know he has a heart of gold when it comes to the family. Last Thursday night I get a text saying 'want to meet up with you'. Very brusque and to the point. I was going over the next day anyway. My OH thought he'd just be wanting to 'fix me' as he has been since this depression started.
So I went over and my dad wants to know what is worrying me. I tell him that I'm not worried about anything but he says he doesn't believe me.

Is it money? I've had problems in the past but ok now so I say no it's not.
Is it Fin? My OH - no he's lovely and supportive and all ok
And the the kicker:
Have you had an affair with a pupil? (Im a teacher and been off work for 3 months) What?....
I've not had the best track record when it comes to relationships. I've done some bad things (affairs) but I thought he knew that that was the old me. I've been with my OH for 3 years, I've told them about my regrets over past stuff that ive done. But my dad thinks I'm capable of having an affair with a child in my care? Am I really that horrible a person and that's what my family think of me?
I dont know what to think. I know I've been a horrible person before. I've done some awful things to people in the name of love. But I've never intentionally hurt anyone. I've often done stupid hurtful things without thinking through the consequences but am I so awful that I am capable of something as terrible as that?
I'm really low just now. I keep thinking of all the people I have hurt in the past and that I deserve to feel the way I do. I don't deserve to have the amazing family I have now. My Oh and our kids are truly wonderful and I couldn't ask for better, no one could. We have 4 teenagers living at home who are all amazing people and I don't deserve that. If they all knew what I had been like before they would all hate me.
What do I do to make it all go away? I don't see a way to make this work. How can I justify the life I have now when I've been such a horrible person in the past?