Hi Bigmama
you said
"My H is quite frustrated, he tells me frequently that there is no other news I could tell him that would devastate him more. Except an affair maybe. (which there has never been one by the way) He has lost all trust in me. He says these things when he is tired, to tired to cover the truth. So when I appolgise, it is for my contribution to this, it is because I feel guilt."

You didn't do anything wrong. You trusted him with the truth.
Its sad how when you are abused we all keep saying we are sorry over and over.
You do know its not your fault
BTw in my day I prolly say im sorry 30 to 40 times. Even sorry for the weather.

I wish you the best.