No, I'm sorry, you shouldn't be apologising for what life has thrown at you, or how you've survived it. If my husband told me a secret now, I'd be glad he trusted me with it rather than focusing on how he didn't tell me before.

Your say your husband is having to pay the price for something someone else did. I call BS. You are paying the price. He is having to support you (or not) in that. That is NOT about him, as hard as it may be.

Don't apologise for "living a lie". You weren't living a lie, you were simply not ready to talk about it.

Your letter made me very sad. Have you ever thought that you would have less trouble with intimacy, and find it easier to relax and trust your husband, if he hadn't abused you and if he didn't make you feel bad for confiding in him? Have you ever thought that he's contributing to those issues, they're not just happening to him?

I'm really sorry, but you should not be apologising to this man.