Thanks pierro and allimsaying. Your kind words mean a lot. I'm seeing my therapist next week for the first time and I guess I have a lot to work through.
I know I'm a better person now but I can't shake the guilt of the past and I need help with that to move on. I really do count myself blessed with all of my family, mad Dad included. I know he meant well but it hurt all the same. I just wish I could have been better for him in the past but if he's still there for me I can't be all bad.
Feeling a little better this afternoon and your comment really help.