WARNING: Parts of this are going to be very triggering. Please be careful. I'll white out the really bad parts.

Any time an adult uses a child for his/her own sexual gratification, that is sexual abuse and can affect the child greatly. Even my grandfather's "joking" innuendos, in my opinion, fall into this category. For example, as a child when I was drawing a generic picture of a woman, my grandfather passed by and pretended to be disappointed with my work. "Aww. I thought you were going to draw her nude from the waist down." I was NINE FREAKING YEARS OLD. How inappropriate was that?

Of course it wasn't taken seriously. "Just joking," you know. Don't be so sensitive.

Then when I was 12, under the guise of coming in to wake me up for school, he tried to take the covers off of me completely and said something about how he's always wanted to see me without clothes. Age 14, out of the blue he started kissing me on the lips, and his hands went inside my blouse. I resisted. Later he claimed I had passed his test. He wanted to see whether or not I was a "good girl" who would "fight it off if some boy made a pass." He was NOT "some boy." He was my grandfather. And what he did was not a test of my character. It was incest and sexual abuse, and he should have gone to jail for it. Furthermore, he already knew I had been the victim of sexual abuse by my step-father when I was 12 and an unrelated adult when I was 5, so no rational man would have put me to that "test."

Point being, it started out with "just joking" and built up from there. Even the joking was wrong.