In some ways, we may be alike, Warrioress. There's just too much conscience and guilt
that has been built into us over the years. Therapy is the route to go, in my view.

Please don't blame yourself for an illness that anyone can have. It may have been inherited; it may have occurred because of a serious traumatic incident, or it may
be occurring because of hormone changes. You are smart to know when you need
medications and that you need to talk to a psychiatrist.

After your first visit with the next therapy session, talk to your parents seriously about
their trying to be of help. Let them know that you are on top of the situation and
that, while you would like to think that you may be without medications one day, when
you need them to maintain a chemical balance or to calm the stress you're experiencing,
you would appreciate their not encouraging you to try to sustain your situation without the help you need. It's like pouring salt into a wound to have a parent react as your
father did. No wonder you dislike the behavior.

Really, though, their behavior is well-meant. It's just a lack of knowledge about the
illness and that it can go into remission and then reoccur at some time from triggers:
too much stress, too many "we really mean well, but..." All of those things make it
more difficult to manage without medical help.

I can understand your strong dislike for their conduct. Discuss it with your therapist
and get a professional opinion about how to handle it. In the meantime, listen to your
therapist, not your parents so much, and know that you are building a healthy concept
of yourself as you continue with therapy.

I wish you all the success in the world in overcoming the illness. Sometime, after you
feel better, why not investigate how your diet may be changed to improve your feeling tone? Right now, check out the thread "The Lemon Thing" (on page 1 or page 2 of the Depression Forum) and see if you might be able to try that for relief until you're into the therapist's office.