MUE this sounds so incredibly difficult.

I know it isn't quite the same thing, but there was a time when my T and ex's T were sharing their feelings about each other with us. It was very confusing and made it so hard to know what was my stuff, their stuff and the other T's stuff. I heard some things about my T from ex's T and it made me question some of what I thought I knew about my T. The two T's worked in the same practice and my T ended up leaving to start his private practice during this time. Sadly, there were some personal issues going on between them that made their way into my (and my ex's) therapy and that is unfortunate.
For a time I found myself becoming a bit afraid of my T and afraid that the aggression that I was told about, and the anger that I sensed about this situation was going to be directed at me. I got the feeling that he couldn't be objective at that time with things related to my husband or various other issues, because he was involved with this outside relationship that was causing him distress.
It was a very difficult time for me, my life just happened to be falling apart right at the time that T was having interpersonal issues with others that seemed to be making their way into the T space with us. He and I spoke about it a bit...very scary and difficult for me to bring up. The thing is I realized that I had to really trust my own gut when it came to my relationship with T. Even though I heard about things from other people that knew and worked with him and those things (such as him being aggressive and unethical and all sorts of other things) happened to push some of my fear triggers, I had to really think about how T was with me. I had to try really hard to separate out what I experienced working with T and if I wanted to keep working with him, from the extra information that I was hearing about him that was coloring some of my perceptions. I was quite confused for a while and heartbroken and scared but when I really thought about how T treated me and what my gut was telling me, I realized that I wanted to stay with T. I decided that how T was in his dealings with other people, outside of the room, didn't really have any bearing on how he was in his treatment of me. He did also realize that he was letting a bit of his stress and frustration seep into the room and once he realized it, it got better.

Boy I can go on, sorry. My point is that you have to trust yourself in this MUE. I have wondered about your T for a while. some things have caused me to feel that he is not the best T for you. And it is helpful to get outside validation from others that some of what you are perceiving from T they have also seen. I just want you to recognize that you have the power to decide for yourself how you feel about T and what you want to do in the future. If you are anything like me, perhaps you can feel pressured into believing and doing what others want and I just want you to try to think about what you want and what makes you feel safe.