I'm sure I've replied to this thread before. I can't remember and don't feel like looking through the pages to see. I, also, haven't been here since 2011. So, I've grown a little as a person and have been through more ups and downs in the past two years than I could have ever dreamt up... so, I'm sure my answer will differ slightly anyway.

Depression is... that's such a strange way to start a statement. I suppose the easiest way to explain it would be to say that it's almost maddening. Some days, I feel like I'm going stark raving mad. It's looking in the mirror and not recognizing yourself. It's looking in the mirror and wondering who that person staring back at you even is. But it's much more than that.

Depression is finally falling asleep at the crack of dawn and not wanting to wake up because you just don't have the energy to face the next day. But you have no choice but to wake up because your thoughts won't let you rest comfortably enough to fall asleep again. Check the clock. Two hours. Two hours of sleep. Depression is lying in bed in the middle of the night, wondering when your life is going to start. It's staring at your dog as he stares at his leash, wondering if you'll have the energy to walk him today. Or if you'll walk him for ten minutes and decide you just can't be outside much longer. It's when you try to do all those things you once enjoyed, but find yourself deriving no joy from them any longer. Instead you just stare at the computer, or the tv, or the book. Staring blankly as you wonder why you tried to do it again in the first place.

I've barely scratched the surface here. It's still so much more. For me, I go through periods of different emotions. Almost different personalities. Perhaps it's not just depression in my case. But when it is, there's two extremes. On one end, I feel absolutely melancholic. I become despondent, even. These days, I spend most of the day in my room. Sometimes I'll cry. Sometimes I won't. Either way, my mind will never shut up. On the other end, I feel completely apathetic. Like I don't care about anything any more. These days, I become non responsive. I may leave my room, but I feel like nothing more than a zombie.

Whatever depression is, I try not to let it define me. It's hard. Some days are better than others. But I'm determined to win the fight. But maybe I'm only saying that because right now is an okay day. We'll see.