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sadp8r · 11:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ;13270

I have been on the net since almost before AOL started, so you might say I have seen/heard of and read of everything, but recently I am seeing more and more forums devoted to totally bizarre things I can't fathom, I mean tatoos were bad enough... Maybe Dr Grohol can type some kind of professional opinion as a mental health practitioner.

Without going into details, I am seeing forums like personal web sites, blogs, postings, photos, entire forums just like this one with dozens or hundreds of users, and that sort of thing describing the author's fettish/want for etc., torture, pain, serious permanent self surgery such as becoming a eunich or worse, piercing, mutilation, amputation, slavery, being severely spanked, being humiliated, being treated like a dog, and seriously disturbing things involving body waste, injections and so on.

I find this stuff and I just can't believe it, and over and over I can't help but ask myself what is wrong with these people????

To me I see some serious psychological problems that I am certain go to early childhood, especially the spanking to the point where there is actual skin damage!
I thought I saw everything and I'm real open minded but this kind of thing is absolutely something that cries out; HELP ME!!!!!

I can't possibly think of anything other than that- some severe childhood trauma the person may not even remember, and a cry for help coming out in adulthood manifesting itself with these kinds of self-defeating damaging activities.

I can sort of understand "cutting" as it applies to people who might be HERE, depressed etc, but that is not what I'm seeing, I'm seeing more of a boastfull "Hey, look what I did,tu isn't that cool!!"

I don't get it, anyone want to offer some insite from a professional perspective?

. I started cutting a long time ago and never told anyone. After my mom passed when I was ten abuse became a way of life along with drinking drugs gambling and having an alcoholic brother who would literally try to kill us , espcially me since I was youngest. I didn't know it til recently for I thought repressed memories was something that happened in movies. I think for me I couldn't deal with the emotional abuse it seemed mire overwhelming than the physical abuse. And over the years when u would get sad or deppressed,rejected and alone. I found myself going back to hiding in my room as a child I didn't have my own room but I hid in the closet or under the bed. I wasn't allowed to eat,and when I got depressed I would get beat more from family members. Years later in recovery I find myself alone and isolated thinking I had it beat. But rejection,death and loneliness within the past few months seemed to have brought me,my mind to when I was a child and I started to cut to relieve the intense emotional pain. I'm not proud of it and ill admit feeling the blade and seeing the blood brought some relief emotionally. But I knew it would lead me to do something I tried to do in2002. For the cutting wasn't enough this time and I started drinking again after 7 years which not only made it as I cut I also felt like I deserved to be punished the way I was when I was 10+11 I came close toa overdosing again like I did in 2002 and nearly died for I hadn't told anyone. Just someone had a feeling I may have done something and called 911 and sent them to my apt. I told them I didn't do anything. Its a long story but I awoke in ICU after the overdose caused 2 seizures. I wasn't too happy with the person who sent ambulance to my apt. The hospital pharmacist had to know what I took along with the alcohol and when I told her what pills and how many she said that amount I should be dead 'someone up there wants you around longer'. Lately I've been asking why? No cutting isn't 'cool' but I do understand the emotional reason behind it though I don't encourage it. That's why a couple weeks ago I fought those feelings and walked to hospital and told them I'm in a crisis I need help. Now I'm taking things 1 minute at a time in hopes I could get back on track again.wow I write a lot,thank you for letting me share this and good luck to all who go through this,David