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Old Jun 05, 2004, 05:41 PM
Taonuviel's Avatar
Taonuviel Taonuviel is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: May 2004
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1,455
Thanks you guys...
I dunno what to do at this point. I feel very dangerous, and while I try letting people know this and asking for help in more or less subtle or obvious ways, they don't seem to get it. They realize I've been close to suicide recently, but it doesn't seem to get through to them that I continue to go back and forth with it, or how about that asking for help is more of a pattern out of fear right after being suicidal - not so much before or during. What's that mean? I may not feel I can ask for help at the time I'm suicidal.
I'm contemplating drastic measures... feels like I'm going to have to do something like overdose then call for help, or at least leave large quantities of pills/other lethal items where someone will see them, or slice up my arms, for anyone to realize I really might be getting bad enough I'd kill myself. Maybe I should start at the end and work my way up. Not sure how else to say it. Telling anyone else, something like checking myself into the hospital, will only look like a search for attention at this point. Feels like actions are the only things that might get the point across.
*I'm hoping this doesn't go too far. I'm hoping it won't be considered a suicide post... because I'm not talking about commiting suicide... just about making it look like I'm trying to or near an attempt... I'm really sorry if it's too much*

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