I'm in kind of a retrospective and introspective type of mood. So I first must apologize if I am making little sense.

Today, while talking to a friend something kind of sparked in my brain. One of those moments where you cock your head sideways like a dog that's heard a funny noise.

I realized that there have been times in my life when I've been exceptionally motivated. Call it hypo... call it driven... call it whatever, but I would spend more time focusing on working out, sewing, writing, painting, whatever it was and I would jump head first into each of these activities.

But the interest to partake in these activities, whatever they may be, always kind of has a slow ramp up. They build up over the course of several months until the speed and veracity (is that a word?) at which I'm doing these things just gets to be way too much. I'm staying up far too late, I'm working out FAR too much and eating FAR too little in order to reach that magic number on the scale. Until I inevitably crash face first, surrounded by incomplete projects or failed business ventures.

So it got me thinking (a dangerous pastime... I know), or should I say, the "slow ramp up" at which each of these things hits got me thinking. Do I bring these onto myself? It's not an inherent "I was going to be manic anyway" kind of deal. I caused it myself and I could have just as easily stopped it.

Likewise, would I have wanted to stop it even if I could have?

Hm... just makes me think.