I know how you feel. My therapist had medium-long hair for two 2.5 years, always tied back in the same ponytail. Then one day she had cut her hair very short, to just below her ears. It was difficult to get used to, and I also felt similarly that she was somehow a different person. I pondered what could have been going on internally for her to make such a change after having the same hairstyle for years. If I had the kind of background information about a divorce that you have, I'm sure it would have bothered me even more. Maybe it's because we want stability. I'm glad you were able to talk to your T about her contacts though- it can be a potentially difficult conversation to have. Any sort of big physical change like that is symbolic of the fact that our T's are not static, and are always changing somewhat. However, I have actually come to like my T's hair after awhile, and I hope that in time you will come to like your T's contacts!