Good things... Today is the third or forth day in a row I've not taken a nap. I have been sleeping late in the morning but not horrifically badly.

I'm still at the point midday where the idea of not taking a nap becomes nearly unbearable, but I've been able to fight it. That is excellent for me. I don't feel ready to go back to work yet though because I spend a large part of the day just struggling to stay out of bed. And so far my frame of mind is that I'll stay out of bed today and nap tomorrow... if you know what I mean, I fear that the not-napping is going to catch up with me and that I haven't really solved the problem.

It is definitely progress though.

My other problem concerns working. I finally feel as if I am on a path moving back toward working again but I'm afraid of pushing myself to go back to work too soon because of my finances. I'm down to the point now where I think my next prescription refill will wipe me out. The whole financial thing is such a huge source of stress and anxiety right now.

I think I mentioned that I asked around again of the friends who owe me money to try to give me back some. It is so so so frustrating. If I could get all or at least a big chunk of what people owe me... MY OWN MONEY... it would keep me going at least another month and maybe I'd be ready to move at that pace.

My power went out today and all I could think was that they shut my electricity off. It was the neighborhood, I was SO lucky because a neighbor was outside yelling at her husband not to turn the swimming pool pump on because the power was out... loud enough that I could here her clearly in my living room. So I knew it wasn't just me. But for about a half hour that's all I could think.



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