I think you should try. And if you fail, then there must be a reason for it and you can indulge in a little "judgmentalistm" on your own.

I will take Trippin's lead and example in making it about me (because, you realize, I had never before made anything about me until I read Trippin's post).

So I had a female colleague, ten years younger, at company A. I had a misfortune and bad judgment to involve her in my interactions with ex. It was in 2011. He wanted some sort of an unbiased third party, and instead of telling him to 1) go f... himself, 2) engage a mediator who is professionally trained, I engaged her, because she was always super super rational and objective. It was a bad judgment on my part. Ex sent her horrendous emails. She shared them with her husband and all of her extended family. I told her that she should not have shared anything because of privacy, and she stopped communicating.

Last month, I finally decided to try to mend it.

She is this super well dressed creature with perfect make-up, perfect clothes, and perfect everything. She does not travel without some sort of a steam contraption that makes her clothing wrinkle-free in the morning - that is her best friend. So I bought a card that, I thought, was special.

The card had a real metal hanger (tiny one) with the hook that looked exactly like a question mark, a black piece of lace that meant to represent a tiny black dress, with a dark pink flower at the waist.

The card read, in pretty cursive letters: "Every woman needs one perfect little dress and one friend she can talk to about anything. I'm still looking for that dress".

I added: "Please come back. Miss you. Best! name and phone number."

Well, she has not responded. But it says something about HER, right - I hoped she would be more magnanimous and forgiving and less petty. Well, now I know that she is not, and now that I know that she is not, I am less upset knowing that I cannot make her come back... because I do not care that much for people who are petty... right?

But had I not tried, I would have never learned it about her.

HUGS to you! And, I too love redheads. So precious, so rare.