I do have a script for visteril. 50mg 3 times a day. Just to stubborn to get it filled. Guess I should do that hugh? Since the BP kicked in full blown I really never have been able to take care of myself. I can always see what others should do and it is logical to me. I don't mean to vent but after 30 years of being married to a BPD female it took its toll on me. At times I really have trouble figuring out who I am at times. Hence the PTSD dx. Yes I'm disabled because of all that I have been through and I'm just beginning to recover from all I have been through. I get overwhelmed at times and poor decision making has followed me like a bad habit. I still struggle with stupid grandiose thoughts a lot.