ArmyGirl,

Since she is an accountant and is really dedicated to her job, you have two problems rather than one. One problem is the one you reported - hours. The other problem is that her work sucks her in, and, most likely, she keeps thinking about the work when she is off work, and, as a result, she is basically working in all her waking hours in terms of how her work has a grip on her brain.

I now have a boring job, which is bad, but I appreciate that the boring and repetitive job has no grip on my mind - when I am off work, I never think of work. Every evening I send myself a message with the issues I need to raise next morning (we have a conference call in which people from various locations nationwide call in and we discuss issues and escalations) and then I forget about them. In the past I had jobs that were not boring, but that necessitated my thinking about my projects virtually 24/7 - was it hard! So your partner probably cannot just call it a day each evening, send herself a message for next morning, and forget - she has clients, projects, etc. so she is probably pondering some issues and concerns in her mind when she is off work, technically.

This can get really difficult because she may not be fully available to you EVEN when she is physically present in the room with you.

Does it sound like the real situation with her or am I off?