These thoughts may stem from another thing altogether. Are you seeing a professional? It sounds like depression is getting the best of you right now. So many negative things can come up as a result of depression. We obsess on those things that we are most concerned with. If the depression were under control it would probably be easier to deal with. My depression presents as paranoia about the future and rejection and shame. But the root cause is depression. Can you see someone and get help? Try that and see if it doesn't help.
Keep posting and let us know how you are.