Quote:
Originally Posted by hankster
Mue - when my current t would get defensive with me - and I'm not saying this would work with your t cuz it's something we did for many years - I would just say, "me? You're getting defensive with me? Who you know loves and adores you so much?" And other mushy stuff that said he was safe with me. And I kind of laughed at him. As in, we're in this together. As in, he's stuck with me now. Like total earth mother. But I know some men - some people - don't like to show that soft side around.
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Thanks, hankster. This is helpful. I was considering something along those lines as well....reminding him up front about how I feel about him and our relationship, the good stuff. But I thought that considering he's a T, he would see through that strategy
It's worth a shot though. I need him to see that I am not coming from a place of trying to harm. And I'm really not. It seems that no matter how I talk to him, he accuses me of being a certain way - and I end up confused because I can't imagine that I was that way - and I feel stuck in confusion. Before I even mentioned that to xgrpcoT, she said that she had that experience with him many times and has heard of many others feeling the same way. Like, he's triggered and absolutely cannot see past his own defenses..and questioning him at that point ends up escalating the issue to the brink of insanity. Then later, after he's calmed down, he'll address it totally calmly as if nothing happened - no acknowledgment of his crazed reaction.