In the past two years I have become very angry. I call it the rage. It just comes over me like a tsunami and I am lost in the fog of rage. I haven't been violent, but I think violent thoughts. Very, very violent thoughts which are scary. I get angry very easy and at stupid things. I get angry at my mother-in-laws dog for wanting to be let outside to go to the bathroom. Or for walking in front of me.

My anger has come from a build-up of things that happened over time. I am working on making it less, but since I dont' have access to a T or pdoc right now I often feel powerless and like I'm losing my mind.

I deal with it by trying to calm myself down. I try to reason with myself. I try to take deep breaths. I take some time to "let it out." Like.... go out to the car and scream my head off. Sometimes I can't and like I'll go on a long rant about something to my husband and it kind of freaks him out. The other day he told me that I'm an angry person and I just agreed with him. I said I was an angry person and I'm struggling with learning to cope with things. I am not going to deny it.

I hate being angry all the time and I just want it to go away. I used to be a carefree, laid back, and calm person. It took a lot to get me to lose my temper. I want to be that person again.