Thanks for all the replies.

Sometimes the last thing you feel like doing is to 'relax' and it might take listening to a CD of someone else instructing you in how to relax and tense parts of your body. Practicing and going through a relaxation sequence can help for when we feel the stress building.

Distractions can be useful too. There was a time when I played patience with a pack of cards over and over again, to take my mind off what ever was distressing me. I also became an expert at playing scrabble on my own, seeing what the highest score was I could get.

And then later on I learnt some mindfulness techniques where I would imagine a massive hurrican/tornado storm happening around me and imagine that I was at the centre of that storm, right in the middle of it, where it was calm. I'd gradually learnt to sit through some emotional pain and let it subside. I let that storm calm and stop raging.

Another one I use a lot is the 'safe-place' visualization. Think about a real calm safe place that you have been to where you felt safe or make up your own safe place. Mine is a special place on a cliff top that I can visualize easily when I need. Sitting with my dog with nobody else around on a beautiful summer's day with the grass gently blowing in the breeze and as I look ahead I can see the sea and waves crashing on the shore...