I get serious pain when I have a bad episode of depression. My body will feel like I have the flu and ache horribly. The worst part is the pain in my head. I can feel the conflict hurting so much because my mind will not stop obsessing about hurting myself and I have to fight it. That kind of struggle leaves me exhausted and in even more pain emotionally. So even if there aren't physical symptoms, the psychic pain is so bad that it makes me feel like ending everything. I have to fight it. I don't expect people to understand, but I want them to. Sometimes I want to show them the pain I am in by demonstrating it in front of everyone. I of course am able to hold myself back, but that is when I usually have to take an unpaid day off work (I never have time off because of my depression).