Hi there ladies.. please don't think I'm trying to show off.. it really bothers me.. and I need to vent!

I'm 26yo 5'8, 9.5 stones, 32DD-25-36, slender brunette.. done some modelling shoots. I obviously can't describe my personality, people say I'm quite eccentric and memorable. I've been always called hot, gorgeous, beautiful, etc.. always had too much attention from guys, who openly stare at me if I wear something less modest than a burka ha My male friends suddenly declared their endless love to me when I naively believed we are 'just friends'.. In my extended mate circle I'm known as 'our femme fatale', which, I won't lie, is pleasant but does it help me in the long run? Most girls (not all) don't like me, even though I never 'stole' anyone's boyfriend. All my male friends are (not so) secretly dreaming about getting in my pants.. I suppose it's enough for their gf's to hate me.
However, I never had much success with relationships.. 1 year there, 2 there.. always ends the same: I get bored and the guy gets mental.. Apart from my current relationship.. where everything is great, never been better.. apart from the lack of sex. With all my awesomeness my man doesn't want me. And I know for a fact that most of his friends would sell their last pair of pants for a chance with me.. but he doesn't want me. No sex in 7 months, and I'm in a relationship! Great! I can't even describe how damaging it is for my self-esteem..
Everyone I know is in a long-term relationship/getting married/having children.. and I'm still the same - trouble! I don't want to be 'the troubled kid' forever! Every time I break up with a guy, I get lectures from my parents who always say that I will end up alone.

You know how society is now.. how beauty pretty much equals success.. and where the hell is it? I have everything apart from happiness. I hate hearing "You are beautiful, intelligent, own your apartment, pursuing the career you want.. if I had all of that I won't be depressed" or "I wish I was as slim as you are, then I would..." If they got my life, I doubt they would enjoy it that much.

I'm not being vain.. Often I think about slashing my face or putting on 10 stones, so people stop referring to my appearance as something that should make me happy. Or so I stop thinking about why am I the way I am.. or that men stop paying me so much attention, so I don't blame myself for being so unlucky.. or making poor choices..
I purposely try to make myself look unappealing like getting haircuts that don't suit me or wearing baggy clothes.. it doesn't really work.
But then at other times my beauty is the only thing which makes me happy.. I will look at myself in the mirror and think 'you are damn hot girl', and it would make me smile.. but then something like "no matter how hot you are, your man still doesn't want you" crawls into my head.. gah

I know you will say I'm still young and I really hope its the case.. but it just seems like I'm stuck.. everything repeats and nothing works out in my personal life. Every time when it seems that maybe just maybe.. nah, it's not

p.s. it really took a lot to write that.