Hi everyone,

A couple of years ago I posted a couple of times on the forum and another couple when I was going through a bad time. I think this forum is a superb outlet for frustrations, angst and issues. I genuinely was so touched by some of the private messages I received from people.

I felt better and stopped logging on due to work commitments- I then forgot about the site! I fell back in waves of good months and bad months. Months I find, not days. I went through a bad period late last year and had a 'weak' attempt at suicide. I say 'weak' as it was a more, "I don't want this, but I don't want that (suicide)"- hard to explain my mindset. I battled, I got through it. I went on a few anti-depressants, however, I felt they made it worse. I got a slight addiction to codeine, alcohol (both i'm over now, however codeine sometimes comes back) and cigarettes.

My depressed feelings came from abandonment by a partner, financial and also work stress. The latter being a long-term problem. I met a girl a couple of months ago and this changed a lot for me. I have probably rushed into things and put us/her under too much pressure. I just really like her and LOVE caring about someone again. It feels like that ray of warm sunshine through a cloud. I need to slow it down obviously! However, I am working away from home again for 3 months, to the same place I was last year. I should add the abandonment last year came from the same trip last year- my partner left me for someone when I came home. Thus, I'm am very anxious not to lose this new girl- this is putting pressure on us and particularly her and I'm afraid it could hit me back to where I was last year.

Anyway, I'm David and I'm back and may need to vent and confide in this community. I also want to be apart of this again. I have experienced many of the feelings that a lot of you have and I look forward to talking to you all.

David