From my T, and, very useful and straightforward to apply:

1) Bipolar / manic depressive illness: My cat does not appreciate me.
2) Psychosis without hallucinations: I talk with my cat.
3) Psychosis with hallucinations: I talk with a nonexistent cat.
4) Neurosis: my cat ignores me and that is simply unbearable.
5) Paranoia: I am afraid of unintentionally divulging something sensitive as I talk with my cat.
6) Schizophrenia: my cat speaks inside my head.
7) Persecution Mania: my cat is plotting against me.

This was very helpful to me as I only have (2), and, I think, having just one thing is pretty reasonable and tempered.