I'm not sure how this all works, and my apologies if I'm posting this in the wrong forum, but I have anxiety so I'm basing it off that. My heart races so much that I feel like it's going to come out of my chest, I'm sometimes dizzy, I don't like this feeling at all. I know in the end of things and in the grand scheme of stuff; I am and WILL be fine, but it's a lot easier said than done.

Long story short, as I'll leave out all the details, I dated two girls in my past and both have ended in bad ways as they both emotionally cheated on me, and left me for other guys. That in itself messed with my mind for the most part. The last girl specifically, I haven't talked to in months, recently contacted me again and my anxiety rose up from her. Mind you previously beforehand, I was seeing a Psychologist when I was dating her and until after because things were so bad with her.

One thing I left out to my psychologist, because I felt ashamed to tell him, and just about anyone, hence why I'm here - both of the girls I dated had attractive sister's and when I found out what they did to me, I was so messed up in my head that I took some of their panties home with me and pleasured myself with them. At the time I felt it was no problem and normal, as I was trying to justify what happened to me, but after that was all said and done, I broke up with with them respectively in their own times. And the past is the past.

Any way, I know that was a perverted thing to do, but like I said, I was in a bad time at that moment and I sometimes am feeling guilty of what I did and I feel like because of what happened then, it eats me up. I often think I should never deserve any good thing happening to me. More importantly, I'm talking/seeing someone right now and I feel guilty of my past that I don't deserve talking to this amazing woman. Or doing anything in my life.

Hope I can get some help and some kind words from everyone here. I'm looking forward to help from everyone around here. I often heard many great things about this forum and how it's helped many people. Thank you.