I really wish I could, but my mom is playing games again. My dad said he didn't care one way or the other (but he's hard to read), and my mom is stirring up the drama and saying that I have to go. My mom is Borderline PD and so stirring up drama is par for the course.
I just wish that I could divorce myself from the emotional drama that always goes on and just have a calm relationship with them. I've been wishing that since I was a child and have finally made peace with the fact that that type of relationship is just not possible.
I've made the peace part, but I can't figure out where to go from there and so I am stuck in a new cycle of violently pushing away and then being drawn back in.
It exhausts me. I don't want to not have a relationship with them, but it seems to be the only way I can get any peace (my mom's BPD means that I can only have complete involvement or no contact at all).
I feel screwed.