It was three years ago that I had my fist manic episode. The doctor prescribed mood stabilizers to take along with my anti-depressants and I hadn't had a manic episode since, but I struggled with depression a lot. Every November and March- April I have serious episodes and the rest of the year I have my usual yps and downs. But now the doctor decided that I should change the mood stabilizer because id doesn't seem to prevent me much from depressive episodes. He said it's a good time, now that the dangerous time of spring is over and we'll have the whole summer to adjust the medication before November strikes again. The thing is the exams are about to begin and I started feeling depressed every evening. I've felt this way before and it's really upseting, the mood changes in the same day. I called and told him that my exams are in stake since I get completey disorganised by this, but he said to continue taking both stabilizers and when my exams are over to cut down the old one.
The thing that I intented to write,mthough, is that I have issues with my confidence. At times It's really low, I wonder why the friends I've made want to be my friends, what they find interesting about me, I'm such a boring person... And at times I feel good almost about everything. I make lunch, something simple like spaggeti or an omelete and say to myself "Wow, that is delicious, you're great!! Awsome, good job!" or I write a song and I think it's the greatest song ever. But all this confidence rings a bell in my mind because I remember all the extreme confidence I was feeling during my manic episode, so I think my confidence for things is false and I should take it down a notch... I just wanted to write this down somewhere when people understand how I feel.