I understand how you feel. The fluctuation in confidence can be a mind-bender. Mostly, I feel like I am a crappy person and I am not worthy of love or friendships...but then, hypomania hits and I am all sorts of awesome! It is annoying and confusing to not have a decent sense-of-self, at least in my case. One foot in front of the other, ya know? I hope your new mood stabilizer helps you more than the old one.