I struggled for years with the "What if I didn't say no" mindset and felt like it was my fault. But here's the thing... It's not, and it's not your fault either, no matter what happened.

Any kind of sexual interaction from an adult is molestation. Any sex act, and I believe this includes oral, is rape. Even if you didn't stop it, the adult was in the wrong and the adult took advantage of you.

Please do not blame yourself, I know it's easier said than done. If you ever have trouble seeing that it's not your fault look at it as it was another child that age, would you blame another child for what happened? The way you're looking back on it now is through the eyes of an adult, so you're expecting that young child to know everything you know,, to know to stop, to know it was wrong, to know to tell someone... But you were a child, you did not have the mind you have now, you are not responsible for anything that happened to you as a child.

((hugs)) please take gentle care of yourself.