I hestiatate to discuss this but my friends don't understand
why I'm upset about not being able to join a church - they are members. They don't understand that I just want the same for myself.
Off and on over the last few years, I've wanted to join a Christain Reformed Church and be baptised. Unfortuenately, due to my mental health I am not able to go in front of the church congregation to profess faith nor attend church regularly.
I've tried everthing that is within my power, taken all the classes - arranged for by private tutoring, done all the manuals, met privately with the minister. More than one church - I think I lost count - I was very determined. Brought letters from my pdoc and fdoc stating that I can't go in front of the conregation nor attend church regularly.

In the end, I'm always told no. At first when I start the manuals and such they say "we'll see", giving me some hope. I spent 1.5 yrs with one church, just to be told no. That church said "come back when you feel better and can follow the protcal".

My purpose with this posting is to ask for advice and support on a way to actually accomplish my goal of being baptised in the church of my faith.
(I tried one Baptish church but was turned down do to my inability to regularly attend church.
I'm not "rant and raving", just want to achieve my lifetime goal.

Thank you for any advice you could offer.