I can see you have only a few posts, so...welcome to PC.
I have also felt what you're describing. In fact, I still slip into it on occasion, and whenever I share what's going on with someone in my life they act with compassion and let me know that it is distorted thinking on my behalf and that I have a very special place in their lives that can only be filled by me. I didn't grow up hearing that though, so I still have a hard time believing it.
I remember something an ex (whom I loved very much) used to say to me. We were together for 6 and a half years and in that time I went back and forth, breaking up with him, clinging desperately, breaking up, snatching him back. And I remember one time I finally just realized the harm I was causing and I resigned in myself and said, Y'know what, I can't do this to you anymore. We cannot be together. It's not fair to you. And he said, It's not your place to decide what's right for me. I will make my own decisions.
It's true. It's not our place to decide for other people. It doesn't mean we don't or can't have feelings of our own about the situation. But it's not our place to manipulate, caretake or assume responsibility for other people's feelings or perceptions of us. Most of the time the only one who feels the way about us that we do is...us. Improper parenting, bad messaging, poor attachment, lots of childhood issues or losses can cause this. It's not your fault. You owe it to yourself to try to give yourself the best life possible, and it sounds like you may in fact suffer from depression, and probably anxiety as well. I'm not a doctor; I just relate to a lot of what you're describing. Couldn't hurt to talk to someone about it. And in the meantime you've got us.