Milli, please know you are not alone in this. This is something that occurs to lots of us here. I have dissociation issues as well. Not the multiple personality type, but the dissociation kind. I to lose huge chunks of time. I write a lot, and since being here has seen with my own eyes that the things I often post or the responses I give others are not something I recall having written. I recognize the writing style now, and that is confirmation that it was me. The T has shown me how to recognize that it is me, and that the things I say and the feeling I have are the same. It just appears to be written in two different manners and one is carefree and the other more direct. The T is fine with that. They are both really me. She sees no huge issues w/ it. If it doesn't bother me and doesn't stop me from being able to function then it is ok.

For me it is mostly PTSD related. There are times when certin things in my enviorment are just more them I can bare. Other times it is a comfortable way to pas the day. Huge chunks of time have passed, and I have accopmlished nothing. I lose everything, don't remember who I talked to, who called. I do it while driving and I can tell that somedays it is just best not to drive. I also have ADD. I don't medicate it either.

Because I do not work and my H lets me stay at home and take care of the house and kids, I don't really need to medicate it. And the dissociative stuff seems to be a state of mind that is safe to go to when the kids are asleep, or when someone is home to help watch them. The T says there is no way I could hold down a job w/ the issues I have but I don't work so it is not a problem.

I don't quite understand the inner child stuff, My T worked on t hat some w/ me and we didn't get real far. So we moved on to something more useful. It seemed to be something that the T understood better then me. For example when my H and me were in T together, my H would talk, and I would start biting my nails, next thing you know tears would start running down my face. My T would tell my H to stop talking, and she would switch her attention to me and tell me my inner child( the abused one) was here and ask to talk to her. I remember t he T asking why the tears, and I would tell her, (at the time my H was abusing me and I felt a connection to the mental abuse suffered from my rapist.) after talking to my inner child, the T would explain to my H what was happening and then the T would talk to me the adult, and show me how my life and my childs life were different. It was most strange. It is not something I experience often. I don't recognize it on my own. But when that was happening I was under a tremendous amount of stress.

My T knows I have these issues. No one took my children away, no one gave me a terrible label, no one suggested I was crazy, I needed psy care,no one thought I was a danger or not safe, or anything. It is ok to have these issues. It is ok to have them diagnosed. It is just giving your issues a name and getting confirmation if that is what you need or want. If it does begin to interfere w/ normal life then you can do things to help and intervene. I hope my life story was not to much. I didn't mean to rob your thread. I just wanted to give you clear confirmation that is ok. It didn't use to be ok, but this day in time it is something you can live with.