Thanks for this. I appreciate it and am happy that it has given hope. Indeed chaos is part of my life, and I still struggle. In no way do I imply that I have my sht together. but in the midst of all the crap, is some good stuff. I think we all have some of that, just learning to see it is the hard part.

I know that for me at times, I feel as though because of my mistakes I don't "deserve" to enjoy what success I even do have. In the past I've let it stop me a little and I don't know for sure but I think a lot of people in our situation tend to think this way - as if we are so "bad" that we don't even deserve to see, hear, acknowledge or enjoy the good that we have in us and in our lives.