Quote:
Originally Posted by TreeintheWind
Parents are just people and very imperfect at that. I have failed my kids in many ways, I know i have complained about things they aren't doing but then forget to commend them when they do well.
But yeah it is a human thing. If we have a friendly cashier, rarely does someone write in and say HEY #13 was awesome today, but if #13 was being a cow then BOY will she hear about it.
I feel unappreciated very often. My kids don't appreciate me (or thats how i see it) they rarely thank me for dinner and would rather complain about what's on the plate, my husband never tells me i am doing a good job with the house or that hes thankful i make his lunch each day for him, but if something ISNT in place then i will hear about it for sure.
Anyhow, sorry for derailing with my own issues and Im sorry that your day has collapsed in on itself like that. When our inner structure is weakened, its sooo easy for anything piled onto us to cause a full collapse. ((hugs))
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This is so true. I don't expect the kids to thank me but much of the time (maybe I just notice it) they do.. One thing I've learned though is that kids - and possible our adult peers, tend to do what we do. I think that even non-bpd people tend to mold and mimic each other at least a little and that's part of bonding so that being said, I think that we have to acknowledge that others cannot be changed by us but we can change us. What we do will tend to catch on so if we are more thankful of others, I think eventually people will do the same to us if they are in any kind of influenced place, like say a good friend, a husband and especially kids.
I'm surprised at times when even my Aspie child thanks me. (not always but enough ) And I realize that even when I have them do chores that they hate and are required to do, and grumble all the way doing.. even when I have to say 3x, go take the garbage out... etc, when they come back, (I'm not perfect so not everytime) I try to say "thanks" for doing it. I think this has in effect caused them to mimic me and do the same at times.
I'm not saying in any way, to either you or Ultra D, that you aren't thankful or grateful and you're 100% to blame if others are not that way toward you, dont' get me wrong. What I am saying is that I do think if we go out of our way to do so for others, the tendency is that you'll affect them and I think it will come back to you eventually.
