Honeybee, oh I am so sorry, you are not alone. This is going to be a long process with so many questions and very little answers. I agree with Gus and others that talk about the importance of getting out the thoughts and emotions inside. If you don't, these will eat away at you in ways you can't imagine. In regards to your children, I do not have my own, but I know from the other side, that when my uncle committed suicide, we were told very generally and then not encouraged to talk about it again. I was with my dad when we found him, and even then, it was kind of an unspoken request to just act like it didn't happen. This is not helpful! In saying that, I do not know the age of your children, so I am not sure if my advice is relevant. I wouldn't lie to them though, no matter what age, as this can cause resentment and trust issues later.

Oh again, I am so sorry, my heart breaks for you. Keep sharing here on PC and elsewhere, we are all here to listen and cry with you as your go through the grieving process. All my prayers are with you and your family. ((hugs))