Hi,

I am new here, and have been having some concerns about my therapist and the type of therapy I'm doing. I'm going to try to keep it a little vague just in case, but I needed to hear some other people's experiences and opinions.

I've been seeing the current therapist for a couple years now, and in terms of personality and feeling T is empathetic, nonjudgemental, I like T very much. I am seeing T for sort of a mix of anxiety/depression/OCD symptoms as well as some BPD traits. We do fairly traditional psychotherapy I'd say.

My concerns are that I feel T's not asking me the right questions to keep me safe- I recently spent some time inpatient w/ suicidal ideation and still T does not ask me as I leave if I am having thoughts of hurting myself. The day I was discharged I met with T and was not asked about those thoughts as I left. I sought the inpatient treatment myself at the urging of a friend with some psych training- even after I finally expressed my long history of self-harm for the first time and suicidal thoughts (T never asked despite me being emotionally in crisis for weeks) T did not change anything or offer suggestions of different or new or more extensive treatments. I sort of feel we never alter what we do as my symptoms and mood have changed and developed. The main issue to me is safety and knowing I'm seeing a professional who is helping me monitor my thoughts and plans when I'm in vulnerable times, and who makes sure to check in and dig deeper rather than let me just not talk if I seem quiet that day. I'm genuinely afraid sometimes when I'm allowed to walk out of the office, despite it being comforted somewhat while I'm in there.

Also, it's been a long time and I feel no better than when I started therapy. I feel that I need skills and coping mechanisms, with specific plans of how to handle situations. I also have some obsessive thinking and would really like to work through that in more of CBT form. Whenever I ask about different treatments, or our goals and plans, or voice concerns, T's very nice about it but I always leave feeling that I don't have a satisfying answer or plan. Many of my friends who are health care practitioners themselves are urging me to find someone else and expressing that I need more and different help.

Am I being unreasonable or overreacting, or should I see someone more willing to be transparent with me about plans as well as more apt to ask the difficult questions that are very hard for me to bring up? Or, given that I "like" T as a person and feel fairly comfortable, should I not leave.

I would appreciate any thoughts or feedback! It's a really rough time so of course filled with doubts. Anyone have experiences especially with feeling a therapist isn't asking the questions you'd expect?

Thanks.