the only grounding technique that works for me is a cognitive task that engages my analytical brain. The other techniques do not work for some reason.
The dissociation comes from PTSD and I know many of the triggers, but I do not know what triggers the recent change in the quality of dissociation I experience lately. I ask my T and try to talk to him about it, but he does little to help me understand it. I'm not sure he really knows either, so I think he just tries to help me explore the situations around it. It doesn't help that I have no other real support, and that I am back in the environment of my trauma... it really sucks actually. It makes the triggers constant and there's no real way to get out of it. Grounding doesn't help. I live in one giant flashback. I really hate it. I guess I just want to make sense of this change and figure out why it's happening. It's so different from what I have experienced before that it really throws me for a loop. So much is different int he way I'm reacting to my triggers, but it all really just ends up with the same hopelessness and frustrations... I think I'm just angry that I don't know what to do about it, or how to react in an effective manner. I am losing a lot of my supports because this ****ing state has ****** mental health services unless you are rich enough to pay for insurance... even the state services suck. I'm mad. It doesn't happen often, but I came here to improve my life, and it has been shot to **** since I got here. All that we had planned for this move has been taken away, and now I'm dealing with all these flashbacks and new dissociative experiences and I don't feel like I have competent help... it's not that he doesn't necessarily know what he's doing, but I think I just don't know how to explain things to this new person, and how to convey what it really is that I feel. I'm angry for maybe the second time in my life, and that too is uncomfortable and confusing. I'm left to do the leg-work for more treatment myself, and I really feel overwhelmed by it. I could do it if I could have more energy, but I am so tired of this stupid struggle. I war with it every day. I made a promise not to give up, but it's so damn hard. I don't want ot do this anymore. I don't want to have to feel like I'm fighting most of this alone... I know I'm not alone, but it feels like that a lot of the time... I'm so frustrated and so tired...