I empathize with your situation. Mine started at 8 and I'm 36 & still struggle every day. If I can say anything that is positive, you are not alone. We just haven't met because we're both too afraid to leave. I find so much comfort in that fact that I'm messed up, but, so are alot of interesting people. It is what it is. I hope you are well on your way & hope peace is in your future