I am very sorry about your bf. Of course he needs you more than ever now. Could you just stop smoking pot so that you can be sure of getting your anxiety meds? My son has BP and he does that too. He says for anxiety, but he also needs anxiety meds. So, I don't think pot helps, it just makes things worse. Your anxiety meds will help you be strong and help your BF. I hope he gets treatment and gets better. I also hope that you can stay very strong. Good Luck! God Bless You!!