Hi, I posted once to you before you went into the hospital. You have certainly had a going of it. I am not the greatest fan of hospitals unless it is absolutely needed to contain someone who is actively suicidal. The biggest changes are with outpatient day treatment. I am glad that you are feeling well supported in your church with these special friends. I am also glad you had an advocate for that hospital situation. I do not have anything that can be, at this time, called a physcical disability and yet I bring an advocate with me to scarey new docs and to the hospital when I need to go. I have a loud mouth , aftraid to ask nothing friend who came with me to the e.r. last time my back was giving me the horrors. I knew she would tke care of me and she did. If I were admitted she knows she'd be crawling in next to me cause I wouldn't stay alone. It sounds like sharing your pain is getting you the help you need to start changing it and seeing it move into a more positive expereince. So glad you are feeling rocked and loved. I call it cozy. Peaceful baby steps.