Hi I know exactly what your saying, I'm terrified of confrontation even though I know I don't say anything wrong ( I'm very carefully of this).
I'm also like yourself, very considerate, kind, help anyone with anything but yet I find myself constantly analysing conversations I've had, and therefore avoiding people so I don't have to go through this rigmarole.
It is true though you do only get treat the way you allow others to treat you.
It's strange I stand up for my family to anyone no matter what however its different when it's me?
I just wanted to reply so you can see your not alone
Hugs
J