I feel your pain. Sometimes it is just good to release, and write things down to get it all out of you. A lot of here on PC are going through the same struggles so you're not alone.

I wish I had some words that would make it all better but I am just trying to figure it out myself. I should be happy with all I have, I really should. but I am still at a loss for true happiness.

I am glad you shared. Just having a camaradarie is very helpful sometimes.