I'm so sorry you are feeling so blue. At least your poetry is present. Doesn't it help a little just to put it down in words. Purge the foulness a little? For the longest my journal was my only confidant. Without that I'd be totally boxed in and frozen. I also relate to how hard it is to confide in other people.
Is art a conversation or a soliloquy?
An artist usually needs to be in some kind of beauty to thrive. Is there beautiful nature available to you? Let your soul feed on that and see if it helps.
Yes, you probably need to get some help( obviously you know this).
I hope you feel better soon.