All those years I've been fancying myself of being white and I had contemplated getting surgery where my whole genetic makeup could be transformed. Well, I don't think such a procedure exists, but I wanted so desperately. I often had images like a blurry white muscular white guy with blond hair strolling down the street, and every time I saw a white woman on television, I would admire her beautiful eyes. Whenever I saw a white girl, she would catch my eyes.