Hi ~ I think what you're feeling is pretty normal. Naturally you felt hurt, especially since he was your first love -- and being together again probably felt wonderful!

But when he went back to his wife, of course you were hurt! That's only normal, and I don't know how you two broke up 20 years ago, but if HE broke it off back then, it would hurt probably twice as much cause here he is doing it AGAIN.

Anyway -- the old cliche' "time heals all wounds" is REALLY correct. It does take time, but you WILL heal. It may take a little longer than you want, but you will begin to feel better. It's like grieving --- grieving for a lost love. And there are 5 stages to grief: shock, anger, depression, bargaining, and acceptance. You probably won't go thru the bargaining stage, unless you try to BRIBE him to come back. LOL And I doubt you'd do that. You're too good a person, and I can tell that by your concern for the child.

Try to stay busy. Go out with friends, and meet new people. Do anything to take your mind off things. And if none of this works, see a therapist. Your doctor can refer you to a good therapist. He'll know who to refer you to.

I wish you the very best, my friend. Please take care and God bless. Hugs, Lee