"People think I'm not fighting it but god I swear I am. If they only knew the fight I fight just to make myself open my eyes every morning. ", i believe you, i know how much energy ittakes to go through the same horrible "grey" day again and again, while you want to change it but you know it wont since you just cant affort even more energy.
People often think "wtf is wrong with her, she's just over sensitive" or stuff like this.
It's not true, your feelings are real..
I guess noone who hasnt sufferd from depression will ever understand this, it's just chemicals in your body which wont allow you to feel happy even if you want to, so badly.
I assume your husband just cant understand it, he loves you and hates seeing you like this.
I guess he's unsure about how to help you, that's why he runs away (saying he wants to fix food, etc) and doesnt come back, and not because he doesnt care, i think he cares a lot and would do anything to help you.
How about you two go to a therapy together? Perhaps he'll undersatand more how you feel or what he should say or do.
I really hope things will go better for you soon, you arent alone