Woke at 7am irritated, annoyed, and aggitated this morning. Had Breakfast and went back to sleep, hoping it would pass.

Woke up 1pm again after a horrendous dream where once again I had no voice and couldn't scream for help... Too scared to leave my room becoz I would so bite off someone's head. By this time I'm close to tears, and like WTF???? how can you be so annoyed its overwhelming??? I tried to come here, but couldn't really pay attention or seem empathetic, so I logged out and went back to sleep before I start spitting venom at unsuspecting bystanders, online or irl.

Woke up at 5pm again and ontop of being super annoyed I got angry at the fact that I have to bath and do my hair because I didn't want to and it was really really cold in this fkn house!

Been awake ever since and its just getting worse! my hands are shaking I'm crying and I want to THROW things or burn down the fkn house! idk!!!!!!!!! I want SOME form of release but have none and it feels like its making it worse! ... thats why I decided to post.

So I attempted bathing, the water hadn't heated up properly, I had a (mini *****fit) and left the tub full of water and bubbles and put off the light in my room!

I'm not a nice person, I have done nothing but be mean today, I haven't done ANY mommy things for Jordan, I haven't eaten since 1pm, I hide and hide like a dangerous animal that should be caged

Its 19:15 now... 12 hrs of timeout and I have only gotten worse...

Ugh just venting.