hi suzy, thanks for the advice, but you know when i say they throw you into the hospital, i am literally speaking. my dr on this last time admitted had the police come to my house and force me to go to the e.r where they admitted me from there for a week. i did nothing but withdraw into myself. i never want to do that, it just happens when im hospitalized or in a group setting. it even happens with my new psychiatrist. its very hard for me to express myself, especially when im hurting, which is most of the time. my therapist who just went on maternity leave knew me well and i didnt have to talk or express myself as ardently as i feel i have to with new people. im very scared that shes gone. its only been since thursday and i feel lost already. i am so glad i found this website. i feel i am able to talk with others without being around others and closing up. pls. write back. thx.